Tag Archives: writing

Glorious (3.24.2013/Poem 13)

Glorious

I don’t want a lifetime—
that’s too long
I don’t need a decade
for your love
But you’ve caught me at my peak
And this I’d like to keep
in mind
For as long as remembrance will allow

Push me to my Precipice
Help me to my Zenith
Bring me to my Crowning Moment
And Kiss my Feet

Make this one sticky memory last
The rest of my Glorious days
And please make it Good

-MS

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The Angry Poem (3.22.13/Poem 12)

Stories and Poems were trying to destroy me during my block. I went mad. They became angry. Poems sent me this:

The Angry Poem

This poem is an angry poem
You don’t want to read this
This poem hates you

This poem will slit your throat—
if you fuck with it
Don’t insult this poem

This poem will punch your gut—
switch up your strut
This poem doesn’t play games
This poem is sick
A disease—
One that has no mercy:
Cancer
AIDS
Alzheimer’s
Loneliness

This poem will infect you,
It’s airborne
Tuberculosis at its height

You will not outlive this poem
This poem shoots to kill—
two in the heart and one in the head

It’s not asking why
not longing for your love
not second-guessing itself

This poem blames you,
your parents, lovers, neighbors, children—
everyone that has ever tried to destroy it
This poem will dismember them slowly
Shoot an arrow through one ear and out the other
Yank their tongues out with tongs,
Use an ice cream scoop to serve
A feast of their eyes

This poem will watch them bleed slowly
As you watch this poem

You can’t stop this poem

This poem is stronger than you
smarter than you
better than you

This poem is a murderer
Insane sociopath

This poem doesn’t care what you think

You can try to Talk to this poem
Reason with this poem
Love this poem
Rise above this poem

Burn this poem
Stone this poem
Stab it, shoot it, Abuse it,
Ban it, Neglect it,
Nail it to a Cross,
Hang it—
leave it for Dead.

But this poem was born to kill
And you—
were born to die

-MS

Dante – Cheerleader Chant (3.21.2013/Poem 11)

Having a little fun ;)

Dante (Cheerleader Chant)

No more
I’m done
Baby it was fun
but I am gone
Goodbye
hope you crash
your car and Die
You and that girl
you Fucked,
Maaaaan,
you’re shit out of luck
I hate your guts
live loooong
long After you die
in a stony pit of fire
where constant Pleasure turns to Pain
the women always Scream your name
and are forever Playing games
with all you
Lemons
Losers
Lames
hope you love the titillation
more than constant stimulation
the attention you receive
from every type you can conceive
and the feeling that it brings
to have the bitches of your dreams
My King

I love you

Stay with Me: In the Style of Lorraine Ellison

My Beautiful Blog, How I Have Neglected Thee…

It’s been over a month since I’ve posted anything, and this was not at all my intention. I haven’t been too busy, so that’s not a valid excuse, I just kept putting off writing a post to the next day and the next day and the next day…until over a month had passed.

But in my defense, I have been finding it difficult to write lately. This one short story I’m working on just won’t come together on the page the way the scenes look in my head. Hate when that happens.

In the meantime, all I ask is that you “Staaaaaayyy With Me Baaaabyyyy!! Pleeeeassee Staaaaaayyy With Me Baaaabyyyy!!” ;)

Lorraine Ellison – Stay with Me

I discovered “Stay with Me” by Lorraine Ellison recently and I’ve been listening to it non-stop. It breaks my heart every time.

There are other versions by many different singers (The Walker Brothers, Bette Midler, Duffy, Ruby Turner, Sam Brown, Kiki Dee, Terry Reid, Karise Eden from The Voice: Australia, Mary J. Blige weaved a part of the song into her Grammy performance in 2007, Melissa Etheridge sang a live version for the iheartRadio Live Series…etc. I’m sure there’s plenty more versions out there), but for me, the original by Lorraine Ellison is the best!

And while the lyrics are nice, I’d bet it’s her arrangement and gut-wrenching performance that inspired the other singers to perform the song in the first place.

It’s powerful, as hearing/seeing/witnessing someone bear their soul usually is.

I’m not sure if begging for someone’s love or trying to convince them to stay is an indication of deep, all-consuming love or an unhealthy obsession (are they different?), but to witness it is beautiful.

True and honest raw emotion is always beautiful, especially when it’s pain.

People hold back their feelings so often that watching someone else go all-in on a lost bet makes them look like they’ve won the jackpot, even though they’re too damned hurt to celebrate.

So, readers, just in case you’ve questioned my love, I’m not too embarrassed to plead for yours.

If you loved me here once, how could I not beg you to stay?

~MS

His Will (9.17.12/Poem 10)

His Will

If you let him walk all over you,
He Will
If you let him disrespect you,
He Will
If you want him to break your heart
Consider it Broken
Don’t ask why

If you revolve your life around his
He Will Let You
If you abandon your thoughts for his
He Will Let You
If you want him to complete you
Consider Yourself Deficient
Don’t ask why

If you trade in your family for his
He Will Embrace You
If you give up your dreams for his
He Will Embrace You
If you want to disappear
Consider Yourself Consumed
Don’t ask why

If he is all you need
He Will Never Let You Go
If you do not wish for more
He Will Never Let You Go
If you want to feel alone
You Are Deserted
Don’t ask why

If you praise him as a God
He Will Love You
If you worship at his feet
He Will Love You

If you wish to feel lost
You Will Never Be Found

-MS

“And like any artist with no art form, she became dangerous.” #TRUTH

“And like any artist with no art form, she became dangerous.” — Toni Morrison (@MsToniMorrison) #Truth

This is one of my favorite Toni Morrison quotes, found in Sula. Here is the entire passage it’s found in:

“In a way, her strangeness, her naivete, her craving for the other half of her equation was the consequence of an idle imagination. Had she paints, or clay or knew the discipline of the dance, or strings: had she anything to engage her tremendous curiosity and her gift for metaphor, she might have exchanged the restlessness and preoccupation with whim for an activity that provided her with all she yearned for. And like any artist with no art form, she became dangerous.”

As artists, (I believe we all are in some way, as we mold and shape our lives with every action that we take) we must eventually expel our energy somehow. If we don’t we will explode, and an explosion is always dangerous, unpredictable, uncontrollable, and something that is not born out of the nature of our peaceful and loving selves. Yet sometimes, we don’t explode, but continuously ooze negative energy, which, as we know, can be a slow poison that infects us and everyone around us.

We all yearn to be fulfilled, so we must find a way to express ourselves daily through creative expression, journaling, helping, loving, living, thinking happy thoughts, coloring, thanking, praying, giving, painting, writing, cooking, gardening, making music, making babies, teaching, or whatever it is that your particular self does, in order to prevent all of our stored energy from manifesting itself as destruction, mayhem, negativity, or pure evil. It’s worth a try.

Happy Sunday!

-MS

Sweetness (9.12.12/Poem 9)

Sweetness

He’s

So sweet:


Newborn kitten sweet

Baby’s first word sweet

Bows on a little girl’s pigtails sweet

First day of summer sweet

Puppy love sweet

Breakfast in bed sweet


Honey sweet

Brown sugar sweet

Maple syrup sweet

Chocolate covered strawberry sweet,

Marshmallow sweet

Salted caramel sweet

Maraschino cherry sweet

Strawberry blow-pop sweet

Sugared mango sweet

Double chocolate ice cream sweet

Sugar cookie sweet

Too sweet kool-aid sweet


And he makes me sick.

-MS

Ants (9.7.12/Story 7)

Ants

I had just finished my first presentation as Associate Vice President of Operations. I was prepared, confident, comfortable, and all of my key points made just the splash I needed them to. I felt like I was finally “The Man.”

I decided to head to the roof for a celebratory cigarette and whirlwind of fresh air. Finally feeling like I had made it, I stood atop 30 stories, looking down at the flowing crowds on Madison Avenue. They resembled schools of fish or lines of ants. The image immediately brought me back to childhood and I wanted to burn them with my magnifying glass or scoop them up with a fishing net, filet, batter, and cook them for dinner.  Most of them as insignificant as leaves on a tree; I bet if I took out one or maybe a few of them, no one would even miss them or notice they were gone.

I took my penny out of my pocket and rubbed it between my forefinger and thumb. I had always kept it there as a memory of where I’d come from. Standing at the top of this building, it reminded me of the old theory that if a person threw a penny from the empire state building and it landed on someone’s head, the penny would kill them. I didn’t need my penny anymore; I had considered it silly a long time ago but kept it just in case. The reality was, I could never forget how I poor I was as a kid, and I had certainly tried.

Contemplating if I was high enough, I decided it didn’t really matter, it’s probably impossible to kill someone with a penny. I flicked the penny over the side of the building and began to rush over to watch its landing. Changing my mind mid-stride, I realized I was most likely rushing for nothing. I flicked my cigarette over the edge and turned around to head back downstairs to have a drink with my co-workers and celebrate the day properly.

 

-MS

Versatile Blogger Award!!!

This is in my “Say What?” Category, but for real, Say Whaaaaaat? Lol

I’ve been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award!

I feel honored that people read my blog, super honored that people actually enjoy it, and super duper honored that someone felt it was award worthy!

And that person is Manu Kurup!!! Thank you so very much, your support is much appreciated!

I hope I continue to write posts that people enjoy on a consistent basis, no matter what I said in yesterday’s post ( When I was younger I Used to Apologize to my Diary…)!! I won’t call it pressure, but I feel encouraged by this sweet little award!

So, I will pass this forward, and these are the rules!

1. Thank the person (People) who nominated you and link back to their blog(s).

2. List seven random things about yourself.

3.  Nominate fifteen other blogs.

4.  Notify the fifteen nominees.

5.  Put the award logo on your blog.

_________________________________

1. Again, Thank you Manu Kurup! I’m glad you enjoy reading my ramblings here!

2. This is interesting because I’ve listed 25 random things about myself in my About Me section, but I’m sure I can scrounge up 7 more:

A) I’ve been saying forever that I want to go to the movie theater alone (there will probably be a post about this), But I am still apprehensive. I know this is not the case, but it’s ingrained it in my head that I will look like an ugly lonely loser! <~~What’s really ugly are those thoughts.

B) I’ve recently become addicted to True Blood and spent an embarrassing amount of time catching up on old episodes! (Like 10 hours embarrassing, in one day!)

C) I google everything. If I’m on the phone and having a conversation with someone, I’ll google half the things we talk about.  Subsequently I find it strange when people ask me how to spell something or any other information that can be found in any computer or smartphone, app, or website. And mostly anything can be found somewhere on the internet.

D) Occasionally I cook from recipes and the meals usually come out great, sometimes with some necessary tweaking. BUT, I recently had a wild craving for falafel and I made some, and was seriously underwhelmed. I think it was a bad recipe because they were, for the most part, flavorless and half of them disintegrated in the oil…not fun!

E) I’m visiting a new dentist tomorrow and I hope I don’t have a Little Shop of Horrors experience!

F) I really wish I could draw (perhaps that’s why I like to color), but I just don’t seem to have the hand/eye for it.

G) I love Autumn/Winter and the clothes that come with those two seasons (colors, scarves, hats , boots, coats, etc.!

3) Blog Nominations (In no particular order). Please visit them:

5thingstodotoday

Brice Maiurro

StacyMichelle

Vincent Mars

Humorous Dispassionate

Teenage Chatterings

Miss Sylvee

Gen Y Girl

Offdadome

Cristian Mihai

The Writer’s Village

MarriageCoach1

Coco J. Ginger

Renard Moreau Presents

Writing Waffle

 

-Thanks,

MS

When I Was Younger I Used To Apologize to My Diary…

I  used to always try to keep a diary when I was a tween/teenager/young adult.  I would write in it consistently for about a week and then never touch it again for weeks/months/years!

And I wanted to keep a diary because all the girls in the movies had diaries, of course.

Yet, I also  believe, now, as an adult,  that I needed my own space to be private, to feel like I had a secret life no one else knew about, which ultimately made me feel special. And doesn’t every young girl deserve to feel special!!

As a young person there was never really much space for me to be alone with my thoughts. I don’t trust easily, so I didn’t tell my friends my deepest darkest secrets, shit, I didn’t even tell my diary. I wrote many things in code, but my point is that this was MY space and I made myself feel guilty for neglecting it!

I knew then that I wanted to write things down for posterity. Perhaps I also knew that I would have a horrible memory and would thoroughly enjoy reading those sporadic crazy little entries:

I judged and hated my friends in there

Decapitated my enemies,

Crushed on my Crushes

Did a whoooooole lot of complaining, mainly about life not being fair

Complained about whatever retail job I was working at

And just ,in general, complained about how consistently miserable I was

If you read these early diaries, you would think I never had a good day in my life! 

Which is untrue! I know now that my life then was Easy Peasy! But a teenager will be a teenager! The world wasn’t revolving around me and I didn’t like it!

So, not only was I miserable, but I felt guilty for not documenting my misery daily. Points to me for the combo attack!

What I picked up on when I read years later, is that almost every entry began with:

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while…

I’m really gonna try and write more often…

I know I said I was gonna write more often…

I’m so sorry! I’m gonna write more often…

My apologies for not writing in so long…

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

And I just thought this is ridiculous! Why the hell was I consistently apologizing for not writing in MY diary. No one will see it, but me! And there it was: my young self didn’t want to disappoint my older self. How considerate of young me!


But I do find, now, that it is quite a silly thing to apologize to your own Diary or Journal! But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to apologize to this here Blog all the damned time! Grrrrrr!! I guess not much has changed. While before, I was apologizing to myself, now I apologize to my readers. Even though I’m pretty sure no one is angry, upset, or disappointed with me, at all!

A lot of times when I decide to do something, no matter how much fun it should be, I end up feeling obligated to do it and that just sucks the life out of it completely. This is one of those times/one of those things.

SO, I WILL APOLOGIZE TO YOU ONCE AND ONCE ONLY, MY LOVELY JOURNAL (DEAR READERS): 

I am truly sorry I don’t update my blog as much as I would like to. Sometimes I’m dry and nothing interests me enough to want to write it down. Sometimes (okay, most times) I’m lazy, sometimes I’m busy, and sometimes one specific event/idea/person that is too personal to share on the internet consumes me and I can’t block those thoughts  long enough to allow my creativity to be productive (I’m working on controlling myself). I extend my most sincerest apologies. I hope you accept my apology and enjoy my entries as they come because I’m going to do what the fuck I want to do, when I want to do it!

Blogger’s Guilt is Not For Me!

Now, I’ve explained myself and apologized. My guilt shouldn’t bother me from here on out. I’ve made amends, I’ll do what I can, story done, that’s a wrap!

And I’m never doing this shit again! :)

-MS