Tag Archives: peace

When I Was Younger I Used To Apologize to My Diary…

I  used to always try to keep a diary when I was a tween/teenager/young adult.  I would write in it consistently for about a week and then never touch it again for weeks/months/years!

And I wanted to keep a diary because all the girls in the movies had diaries, of course.

Yet, I also  believe, now, as an adult,  that I needed my own space to be private, to feel like I had a secret life no one else knew about, which ultimately made me feel special. And doesn’t every young girl deserve to feel special!!

As a young person there was never really much space for me to be alone with my thoughts. I don’t trust easily, so I didn’t tell my friends my deepest darkest secrets, shit, I didn’t even tell my diary. I wrote many things in code, but my point is that this was MY space and I made myself feel guilty for neglecting it!

I knew then that I wanted to write things down for posterity. Perhaps I also knew that I would have a horrible memory and would thoroughly enjoy reading those sporadic crazy little entries:

I judged and hated my friends in there

Decapitated my enemies,

Crushed on my Crushes

Did a whoooooole lot of complaining, mainly about life not being fair

Complained about whatever retail job I was working at

And just ,in general, complained about how consistently miserable I was

If you read these early diaries, you would think I never had a good day in my life! 

Which is untrue! I know now that my life then was Easy Peasy! But a teenager will be a teenager! The world wasn’t revolving around me and I didn’t like it!

So, not only was I miserable, but I felt guilty for not documenting my misery daily. Points to me for the combo attack!

What I picked up on when I read years later, is that almost every entry began with:

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while…

I’m really gonna try and write more often…

I know I said I was gonna write more often…

I’m so sorry! I’m gonna write more often…

My apologies for not writing in so long…

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

And I just thought this is ridiculous! Why the hell was I consistently apologizing for not writing in MY diary. No one will see it, but me! And there it was: my young self didn’t want to disappoint my older self. How considerate of young me!


But I do find, now, that it is quite a silly thing to apologize to your own Diary or Journal! But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to apologize to this here Blog all the damned time! Grrrrrr!! I guess not much has changed. While before, I was apologizing to myself, now I apologize to my readers. Even though I’m pretty sure no one is angry, upset, or disappointed with me, at all!

A lot of times when I decide to do something, no matter how much fun it should be, I end up feeling obligated to do it and that just sucks the life out of it completely. This is one of those times/one of those things.

SO, I WILL APOLOGIZE TO YOU ONCE AND ONCE ONLY, MY LOVELY JOURNAL (DEAR READERS): 

I am truly sorry I don’t update my blog as much as I would like to. Sometimes I’m dry and nothing interests me enough to want to write it down. Sometimes (okay, most times) I’m lazy, sometimes I’m busy, and sometimes one specific event/idea/person that is too personal to share on the internet consumes me and I can’t block those thoughts  long enough to allow my creativity to be productive (I’m working on controlling myself). I extend my most sincerest apologies. I hope you accept my apology and enjoy my entries as they come because I’m going to do what the fuck I want to do, when I want to do it!

Blogger’s Guilt is Not For Me!

Now, I’ve explained myself and apologized. My guilt shouldn’t bother me from here on out. I’ve made amends, I’ll do what I can, story done, that’s a wrap!

And I’m never doing this shit again! :)

-MS

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Anthony Robbins’ Six Human Needs

Oprah!

I never got into Oprah until about the beginning of last year, when I became addicted to Oprah’s Life Class. Great Show. The first season was amazing. Things got busy after that and I didn’t watch continuously, but I know she completed Oprah’s Lifeclass: The Tour with some amazing guest speakers: Bishop T.D. Jakes, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, and Iyanla Vanzant.

In the 1st season I was introduced to Ekhart Tolle and his book, A New Earth and it is basically my bible! MUST READ!

( And if you’d like a “syllabus,” go here: http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/A-New-Earth-Syllabus)

ANYWAY:

I heard Tony Robbins speak about the Six Human Needs, on Oprah’s Next Chapter, and I found his theory extremely interesting. So I’m just going to list them, explain them briefly and ask you to complete the task he asked of us.

Put these basic human needs in order according to what you think is most important for you to fulfill in order to be happy.

First think of specific things that make you happy, then categorize them. If you can think of nothing that fulfills certain needs, you may want to try making some changes in your behavior to meet these needs and see if you feel any more fulfilled. You can also assign a number on a scale of 1-5 to indicate the level to which certain needs are being met, if you can’t provide a black and white answer. You may feel partially fulfilled by certain behaviors and some of your needs may be filled in a negative way and may also require changes toward positivity.

Six Human Needs

1. Certainty / Comfort

2. Variety / Uncertainty

3. Significance

4. Connection / Love

5. Growth

6. Contribution

1. Certainty/Comfort: We feel a sense of certainty when we believe we have a strong foundation and the ground we stand on is solid.  This need can be fulfilled by a steady job, a faithful partner, good friends, a comfortable home, control, a developed skill, avoiding pain, etc., all the things that would shake us to our core if we lost them, even if we do sometimes need a little uncertainty.

2. Variety/Uncertainty: As it often happens with us, once we feel comfortable, we then begin to feel bored, and certainty itself becomes uncomfortable and all too familiar. Everyone has felt the need to shake things up. Some people feel most comfortable when feeling uncertain and are natural adventurers. The rest of us just need a little spice in our honey to make it even sweeter. Surprise.

3. Significance: The need to feel important, as if our presence on the earth matters. We like the attention and the feelings we feel when we fulfill a significant role in the lives of others. Special. Unique. And as a result of this need, people seek attention in a plethora of ways, both positive and negative: a high salary, advanced degrees, tattoos, piercings, violence. Some people strive to be the hero, others strive to be the villain. Some don’t strive for anything and convince themselves they are significant, and others never feel significant enough and become depressed, making their own issues so significant that they are consumed by them.

4. Connection/Love: 

“We all want it, most people settle for connection

because love’s too scary.” – Tony Robbins 

The difference between love and connection is that love requires you to give precedence to someone or something outside of yourself. And that is difficult for many people. Love may evolve from connection, but connection is much more easily accessible. We can form a connection to people who share similar hobbies, work interests, any club or organization, family, friends, partners, spirituality. Without a feeling of connection or love we tend to feel untethered, like we’re floating in space alone. I personally believe this is the strongest human need of all, and all the rest fall in a sort of sub-category of love (my personal opinion).

These four needs are the Needs of the Personality: Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, Connection.

And according to Robbins, if three of these needs are met through one source, we become addicted!

For instance, I think the easiest example is drug addiction. You know for certain that your mental state will be altered, you feel a connection to others you are indulging with, a connection to self, or a higher power. You also feel uncertain of where the high will take you.

People can be addictive, relationships, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. So this may be something we want to be aware of, even if it is a healthy addiction.

The next two needs are the Needs of the Spirit: Growth, Contribution

As are ego always finds a way to fulfill the needs of the personality, the needs of the spirit are often left unfulfilled if we do not put conscious effort into fulfilling them. They are also the two needs that have the propensity for maximum fulfillment and happiness.

5. Growth: In order to feel happy and fulfilled, we need to grow, excel, become better people by improving ourselves. In order to grow we have to go through changes that are often painful and scary. This pain is a reason people often do not seek to grow; they know the process or are fearful of the future. People who are unwilling to grow often feel stuck, bored, depressed, and refuse to deal with the problems/hurdles that they must face in life, which is unfortunate because we have to grow to be able to give!

6. Contribution: 

“The secret to living is giving.” – Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins says that we are most fulfilled when we contribute, when we help/serve others and try to give something of ourselves that is valuable to the rest of the world. And once we become excited by contribution– by having experienced it– and not just talked about it, we begin to feel true happiness. In order to fulfill all six needs in a positive way we should first fulfill the needs of the spirit (growth and contribution) because it takes the focus off of us and our own pain and pleasure, and draws our attention beyond ourselves to a space that acknowledges the importance of contribution.

Those are all six needs!

Now put these in order, and realize that your lead system tilts you in the direction your life will take.

Cheers to conscious living!

-MS

P.S. Still working on these  myself.  I’m no expert, just believe in the philosophy!

Good Rules to Live By: Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership


1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

–Dr. Kent M. Keith

I think this is important to share.  It is often so difficult to do what we know is right.  I will be referring back to these lines when I feel  I am in in need of  solid unbiased advice.  Simple & plain.

-MS

P.S. I found these words on the blog of  Marriagecoach1, at http://marriagecoach1.com/. He shares  excellent advice on marriage, relationships and sexuality. It’s honest, to the point, no holds barred & fantastic!