Sweetness (9.12.12/Poem 9)

Sweetness

He’s

So sweet:


Newborn kitten sweet

Baby’s first word sweet

Bows on a little girl’s pigtails sweet

First day of summer sweet

Puppy love sweet

Breakfast in bed sweet


Honey sweet

Brown sugar sweet

Maple syrup sweet

Chocolate covered strawberry sweet,

Marshmallow sweet

Salted caramel sweet

Maraschino cherry sweet

Strawberry blow-pop sweet

Sugared mango sweet

Double chocolate ice cream sweet

Sugar cookie sweet

Too sweet kool-aid sweet


And he makes me sick.

-MS

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Ants (9.7.12/Story 7)

Ants

I had just finished my first presentation as Associate Vice President of Operations. I was prepared, confident, comfortable, and all of my key points made just the splash I needed them to. I felt like I was finally “The Man.”

I decided to head to the roof for a celebratory cigarette and whirlwind of fresh air. Finally feeling like I had made it, I stood atop 30 stories, looking down at the flowing crowds on Madison Avenue. They resembled schools of fish or lines of ants. The image immediately brought me back to childhood and I wanted to burn them with my magnifying glass or scoop them up with a fishing net, filet, batter, and cook them for dinner.  Most of them as insignificant as leaves on a tree; I bet if I took out one or maybe a few of them, no one would even miss them or notice they were gone.

I took my penny out of my pocket and rubbed it between my forefinger and thumb. I had always kept it there as a memory of where I’d come from. Standing at the top of this building, it reminded me of the old theory that if a person threw a penny from the empire state building and it landed on someone’s head, the penny would kill them. I didn’t need my penny anymore; I had considered it silly a long time ago but kept it just in case. The reality was, I could never forget how I poor I was as a kid, and I had certainly tried.

Contemplating if I was high enough, I decided it didn’t really matter, it’s probably impossible to kill someone with a penny. I flicked the penny over the side of the building and began to rush over to watch its landing. Changing my mind mid-stride, I realized I was most likely rushing for nothing. I flicked my cigarette over the edge and turned around to head back downstairs to have a drink with my co-workers and celebrate the day properly.

 

-MS

Versatile Blogger Award!!!

This is in my “Say What?” Category, but for real, Say Whaaaaaat? Lol

I’ve been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award!

I feel honored that people read my blog, super honored that people actually enjoy it, and super duper honored that someone felt it was award worthy!

And that person is Manu Kurup!!! Thank you so very much, your support is much appreciated!

I hope I continue to write posts that people enjoy on a consistent basis, no matter what I said in yesterday’s post ( When I was younger I Used to Apologize to my Diary…)!! I won’t call it pressure, but I feel encouraged by this sweet little award!

So, I will pass this forward, and these are the rules!

1. Thank the person (People) who nominated you and link back to their blog(s).

2. List seven random things about yourself.

3.  Nominate fifteen other blogs.

4.  Notify the fifteen nominees.

5.  Put the award logo on your blog.

_________________________________

1. Again, Thank you Manu Kurup! I’m glad you enjoy reading my ramblings here!

2. This is interesting because I’ve listed 25 random things about myself in my About Me section, but I’m sure I can scrounge up 7 more:

A) I’ve been saying forever that I want to go to the movie theater alone (there will probably be a post about this), But I am still apprehensive. I know this is not the case, but it’s ingrained it in my head that I will look like an ugly lonely loser! <~~What’s really ugly are those thoughts.

B) I’ve recently become addicted to True Blood and spent an embarrassing amount of time catching up on old episodes! (Like 10 hours embarrassing, in one day!)

C) I google everything. If I’m on the phone and having a conversation with someone, I’ll google half the things we talk about.  Subsequently I find it strange when people ask me how to spell something or any other information that can be found in any computer or smartphone, app, or website. And mostly anything can be found somewhere on the internet.

D) Occasionally I cook from recipes and the meals usually come out great, sometimes with some necessary tweaking. BUT, I recently had a wild craving for falafel and I made some, and was seriously underwhelmed. I think it was a bad recipe because they were, for the most part, flavorless and half of them disintegrated in the oil…not fun!

E) I’m visiting a new dentist tomorrow and I hope I don’t have a Little Shop of Horrors experience!

F) I really wish I could draw (perhaps that’s why I like to color), but I just don’t seem to have the hand/eye for it.

G) I love Autumn/Winter and the clothes that come with those two seasons (colors, scarves, hats , boots, coats, etc.!

3) Blog Nominations (In no particular order). Please visit them:

5thingstodotoday

Brice Maiurro

StacyMichelle

Vincent Mars

Humorous Dispassionate

Teenage Chatterings

Miss Sylvee

Gen Y Girl

Offdadome

Cristian Mihai

The Writer’s Village

MarriageCoach1

Coco J. Ginger

Renard Moreau Presents

Writing Waffle

 

-Thanks,

MS

When I Was Younger I Used To Apologize to My Diary…

I  used to always try to keep a diary when I was a tween/teenager/young adult.  I would write in it consistently for about a week and then never touch it again for weeks/months/years!

And I wanted to keep a diary because all the girls in the movies had diaries, of course.

Yet, I also  believe, now, as an adult,  that I needed my own space to be private, to feel like I had a secret life no one else knew about, which ultimately made me feel special. And doesn’t every young girl deserve to feel special!!

As a young person there was never really much space for me to be alone with my thoughts. I don’t trust easily, so I didn’t tell my friends my deepest darkest secrets, shit, I didn’t even tell my diary. I wrote many things in code, but my point is that this was MY space and I made myself feel guilty for neglecting it!

I knew then that I wanted to write things down for posterity. Perhaps I also knew that I would have a horrible memory and would thoroughly enjoy reading those sporadic crazy little entries:

I judged and hated my friends in there

Decapitated my enemies,

Crushed on my Crushes

Did a whoooooole lot of complaining, mainly about life not being fair

Complained about whatever retail job I was working at

And just ,in general, complained about how consistently miserable I was

If you read these early diaries, you would think I never had a good day in my life! 

Which is untrue! I know now that my life then was Easy Peasy! But a teenager will be a teenager! The world wasn’t revolving around me and I didn’t like it!

So, not only was I miserable, but I felt guilty for not documenting my misery daily. Points to me for the combo attack!

What I picked up on when I read years later, is that almost every entry began with:

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while…

I’m really gonna try and write more often…

I know I said I was gonna write more often…

I’m so sorry! I’m gonna write more often…

My apologies for not writing in so long…

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

And I just thought this is ridiculous! Why the hell was I consistently apologizing for not writing in MY diary. No one will see it, but me! And there it was: my young self didn’t want to disappoint my older self. How considerate of young me!


But I do find, now, that it is quite a silly thing to apologize to your own Diary or Journal! But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to apologize to this here Blog all the damned time! Grrrrrr!! I guess not much has changed. While before, I was apologizing to myself, now I apologize to my readers. Even though I’m pretty sure no one is angry, upset, or disappointed with me, at all!

A lot of times when I decide to do something, no matter how much fun it should be, I end up feeling obligated to do it and that just sucks the life out of it completely. This is one of those times/one of those things.

SO, I WILL APOLOGIZE TO YOU ONCE AND ONCE ONLY, MY LOVELY JOURNAL (DEAR READERS): 

I am truly sorry I don’t update my blog as much as I would like to. Sometimes I’m dry and nothing interests me enough to want to write it down. Sometimes (okay, most times) I’m lazy, sometimes I’m busy, and sometimes one specific event/idea/person that is too personal to share on the internet consumes me and I can’t block those thoughts  long enough to allow my creativity to be productive (I’m working on controlling myself). I extend my most sincerest apologies. I hope you accept my apology and enjoy my entries as they come because I’m going to do what the fuck I want to do, when I want to do it!

Blogger’s Guilt is Not For Me!

Now, I’ve explained myself and apologized. My guilt shouldn’t bother me from here on out. I’ve made amends, I’ll do what I can, story done, that’s a wrap!

And I’m never doing this shit again! :)

-MS

Whenever You Are Ready (8.21.12/Poem 8)

Whenever You Are Ready

Whenever you are ready
Come and find me
All good things in time
but I have to go right now

You love me at my worst
I love you in my gut
still that’s not enough
and I have to go
right now

Use the time we will not share
fully
Waste my missing love
slowly
just catch me before I burst
into a flaming ball of dust
drenched in moonlight

Beckon when you’ve chosen
to just love me only
Do not fear pursuit
When you think you’re ready
you will find me

Immobilized by angst
I do not wish to waste
words I cannot say
flesh I cannot touch
lips I cannot kiss
a soul I cannot reach
a heart I cannot seize
a bond I cannot break
On a Love I cannot love
wholly

I won’t say I’m waiting
but I am waiting
All good things in time
Come and find me
whenever you are ready
but I have to go right now

Run and don’t look back
I’m already on my way
still I will be waiting
Underneath the sun,
on the dark side of the moon,
in the brightest star

I belong to you
all good things in time
but not right now

-MS

The Sex Question (8.20.12/Story 6)

Jason went for it, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she smiled.

“Do you use me for sex?”

Do I use you for sex? You wish I used you for sex. The sex is good, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve had better without the headaches you cause me. I’m actually insulted by your question. Had you asked if I used you for your money, I could understand that, because sometimes I do. I also use you for your apartment when I need to escape my roommate, and your car since I don’t drive. I use you to make me laugh, to keep me company; I use you when I need a warm body to lie next to. I use you to fix my computer and various other electronics in my house. I use you as my date when I need one; I use you to massage my feet and my back. I use you to pull my hair, suck my toes, and nibble my thighs (sex related, but not sex, not really). I use your ear when I’m upset and need to vent. I use you to run errands for me, etc., etc., etc. Yes, I use you, for many things, but for sex? You struck out on that one. Wrong question completely. Any woman can go out and find herself some carefree, no-strings-attached, dirty, unemotional sex with a caveman who wants to be used, and not have to deal with anyone’s feelings or silly ass questions. And the caveman would know to just enjoy the fucking and not bog down the whole experience with a question that has insecure written all over it in neon flashing lights. When you don’t know  when you’ll see someone again, or what they do when you’re not around; and when you do see them it’s just for sex, that’s a relationship of mutual sexual usage, which is usually fun, but we don’t have that.  So please, don’t lose your cool because I like sex and I like it often. I’m enjoying myself. Don’t ruin a good thing.

Shay watched Jason as he slid down toward the edge of her bed to collect his clothes off the bedroom floor. She loved watching him move—six feet tall, lean build with thin muscles, and skin the color of freshly ground cocoa. He hopped a little as he pulled up his denim jeans; Shay watched the workings of his back while he struggled to get his head through the top of his sweatshirt. She couldn’t help but picture a well oiled, finely tuned machine working in perfect harmony underneath his dark chocolate skin.

Jason slowly turned around and worked his eyes up from the bottom of her sun-bronzed feet with her red toenails, passed the silhouette of her bare body, to the warm smile planted on her face as she sat at the top of her bed, with her back against the wall.

Jason went for it, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she smiled.

“Do you use me for sex?”

Shay paused, then slowly stood up in the bed and walked over to Jason and positioned herself in front of him. The support of the bed added six inches to her height over his. She grabbed his face with both of her hands, stared into his eyes before she closed her own, and kissed his lips. She placed his arms around her waist and put her arms over his shoulders and pulled him into her.

“No,” she whispered in his ear.

-MS

Curiosity Killed the Cat, So They Say… (8.14.12/Poem 7)

Curiosity Killed the Cat, So They Say…

Curiosity Killed the Cat—

      What does this really mean?


Did Curiosity seep into his mind

And poison his sweetest dreams?


Did Curiosity tie him up

And make him scream his name?


Did Curiosity ease him along

And watch him burn in flames?


Or did Curiosity take the wheel

And drive the cat insane?


What if the cat was a martyr

And made sound judgment calls?


Should we be blaming Curiosity

For giving the cat some balls?


Consider that the Cat

Had a mission at his paws!?


You know, I think I like the cat.

A kitty for the cause.


I know!


 I think I’ll praise the cat.

For you – THE CAT – Applause!

-MS

How Fiction Works (7.31.12/Poem 6)

Reason2Rhyme Poetry Prompt – “Book Spine Poem”

Prompt can be found at: Karen B Nelson

Rules: Create a Book Spine Poem by layering titles to make a meaningful statement.  These can be books you own, or notice at your local bookstore or online.  (Photo is optional, but it’s nice to at least give credit to the authors’ works and their contribution to your poem.)

I found this idea so inspiring, interesting, & fun! Here’s my photo & poem:

How fiction works:

Invisible man playing in the dark

Kicking tongues just above my head–

The art of the story!

Book List:

How Fiction Works by James Wood

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

Playing in the Dark by Toni Morrison

Kicking Tongues by Karen King-Aribisala

Just Above My Head by James Baldwin

The Art of the Story by Daniel Halpern

Enjoyed this mini project/poem!

 

*My poem was the featured poem of the week, very cool! Click here to read the post*

-MS

Love Widow (7.30.12/Story 5)

Love Widow (Draft 1)

They loved.

Harder than they should have, and he was a performer. He talked the talk, he walked the walk, and she relished every second of it. He was purely genuine, and she felt it in every vertebrae of her spine as he rubbed his hands along the small of her back.

She allowed herself to be pulled in and he kissed her deeply, her body pulsating in tandem with the beat of his heart as she felt him smile against her lips.

She absorbed her energy from the black of the night sky; he held on for dear life. She palmed his head and nibbled, then bit down sharply. His body grew limp. No fight; no retaliation; no resentment. He lay there crumpled—in bits and pieces— as she finished him off, and her belly rounded out to the extent of its fullness.

-MS

(Kinda loving these little stories that end around the 100-200 word mark. Definitely want to work on filling them out and really making them come to life!)

-Monique Shante

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